


Muffin?

by Shi_3



Series: After Apocalypse: When We're All Together and Having Fun [1]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men Evolution
Genre: Bad Cooking, Explosions, Gen, Light-Hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_3/pseuds/Shi_3
Summary: An unsuspecting Cajan eats a muffin. Everyone regrets it.
Series: After Apocalypse: When We're All Together and Having Fun [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637989
Comments: 10
Kudos: 43





	Muffin?

**Author's Note:**

> Your unbiased opinion of these muffins, please. What do they need?  
> What do these muffins need? Kinetic energy.

Jamie didn’t _not_ like Gambit. He was funny, you know. He was absolutely killer at dodge-ball too. The last time they had played he had absolutely _destroyed_ them all, and you know, the ball at the end. Jamie could respect that. 

Peering between the gap in the cabinet doors, Jamie was trying to decide if impressive dodge-ball skills were worth enough to save Gambit though. 

Gambit was standing in front of an inconspicuous tray of cooling muffins. The dirty bowl was still on the counter and the oven light was still on. Kitty had just made them. 

The warm and sweet smell of baking still lingered. That must have been what had drawn Gambit to the kitchen. It was a deceptive smell though. It smelled like cinnamon and melted butter, but it certainly wouldn’t taste like it. Not if Kitty had made it. From sad experience all the mutants at the mansion knew that those muffins didn’t go down easy and once consumed, those muffins would sit uncomfortably in the gut for days. 

Well, _almost_ all the mutants. 

Gambit was looking at those muffins in a way that Jamie knew wouldn’t end well for him. 

But if Jamie stopped him, it would give away his location. He was on a _rad_ winning streak too. He missed Wolfsbane but hide and seek was much easier without her here. Bobby had bet a chocolate bar on being able to win too. 

Gambit picked up a muffin. 

Jamie reasoned that Wolverine and some of the older members didn’t really like him. There must be a reason for that. Maybe he did deserve it. It’s not like it was poison and he would die or anything. It was just indigestion. Besides, Kitty would have just asked him to try one later. 

Gambit raised the muffin to his lips, with a slight grin.

Jamie silently shook his head. He couldn’t do it. It was like watching a blind puppy wander into oncoming traffic. He opened his mouth to say something... _but_...well, that chocolate bar. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. Kitty had gotten a bit better with her baking skills. Like, the last batch, they weren’t _good_ but they were maybe edible. For about 4 bites.

He watched, wincing a bit, as Gambit bit into the steaming muffin. It _crunched_. Suspiciously. 

Gambit froze, black and red eyes widening, mouth full. He drew back the muffin and looked at it with shock.

Jamie hoped that it was because it was the best muffin he had ever had. Desperately hoped. 

Gambit tipped the pastry and something runny dribbled out. 

Jamie covered his mouth with his hands. 

Gambit went pale and a muscle in his cheek twitched. 

Jamie watched with horror as Gambit turned to the sink and let a half baked bite of disappointment drop out of his mouth. It kind of _splatted_ in the sink. Jamie flinched when Gambit drew back his arm and threw the rest in the sink like it was Apocalypse's face. It _splatted_ and _clunked_. 

“‘Dis not ok,” Gambit breathed out with a righteous sort of fury. 

Jamie tried to breathe quietly, not wanting Gambit to suddenly find him and hold him responsible for letting him put that in his mouth.

Gambit turned and stood in front of the muffin tin, hands on hips, the air around him crackling with angry energy. He looked like he was trying to decide how best to kill something. Suddenly, he picked up the tin and strode away. The door banged loudly against the wall on his way out. 

“Holy crap,” Jamie whispered to himself, terrified. 

What was Gambit going to do with the muffins? He had a sudden, terrible mental image of Gambit throwing charged muffins at Kitty’s head. The memory of an exploding dodge-ball and the tattered remnants also came to mind. If that was someone's head...

“Holy crap!” He ran for the door. 

When he ran into Cyclops in the doorway, three more of him popped out.

“Jamie!” Cyclops barked.

“Holy crap!” All four of him yelled together and scrambled to their feet. Three ran in different directions, hoping to find Kitty before Gambit did, while another was caught by the scruff.

“Jamie! What is going on?” Cyclops demanded.

“Gambit ate one of Kitty’s muffins!” he yelled with panic, twisting out of his hold. “He’s really mad!”

“Oh, crap,” Scott muttered and ran after Jamie.

When they saw Rogue on the stairs they both yelled, creating an unintelligible roar of “Rouitty!” as they tripped over each other.

Rogue jumped back, eyes widening.

“Where’s Gambit?” they yelled desperately, as she clutched at the railing.

“Ah don’t know!” she yelled back. “What’s the matter?”

“Kitty’s in trouble!” Scott yelled.

“She’s studying in the library!” Rogue said, bolting down the last steps and running down the hall. Scott and Jamie hot on her heels. 

When they threw open the library door, screeching “Kitty!”, she phased right through her chair.

“Geez! Like, what’s on _fire_ ?” she demanded, wincing. Her eyes widened with panic as Scott helped her to her feet. “The _oven_ ! _Oh my gaw_ -”

“Kitty!” Scott yelled, “We’re taking a long walk! You two, make sure Gambit cools down before we get back!” 

“What’d she _do_?” Rogue demanded as Scott dragged Kitty to the door. “Why’s Gambit mad at her?”

“Gambit’s mad at me? _Me_?” Kitty squeaked. “Geez, like, walk faster Scott!” She dragged him from a speed-walk into a run. She’d also been present at that dodge-ball game. 

“Why’s he mad?” Rogue yelled, running after them.

Jamie tried piping up from the back of the group, “He-”

“Yeah! Like, what the heck did I ever do to Gambit?” Kitty demanded, as they made a beeline for the front door. 

“You-”

With a loud pop, Kurt materialized from his sulfurous cloud, looking concerned. “Gambit’s yelling on ze balcony. Anybody want to explain zat one?”

“Gambit-” Jamie tried again, but the loud _boom_ of said man’s explosives cut him off. 

They all shared a look of horror and rushed the door. In the mad rush someone knocked Jamie against the doorway, causing another multiplication, which threw Rogue away and crushed the rest of the group in the doorway.

“Sorry!” 

“My _tail!_ ”

“Like, _move_ , Kurt!”

“Everybody back off! Let me handle this!”

“Move!” Rogue yelled, body slamming into the group and pushing them onto the patio. As they tumbled to the concrete another explosion sounded above them. They looked up and saw burned, little bits of _something_ raining down.

“Cajun! What _are_ ya doing?” Rogue yelled, as they all looked up to the balcony. 

Gambit was standing on the ledge, legs apart in a strong power pose, coat flapping majestically, and a thunderous look on his face as he held the silver muffin tin. 

He didn’t seem to hear or notice them as he raised up a glowing fist, and yelled, “In de name of de Holy Trinity!” 

He lobbed a misshapen, glowing lump and it exploded above their heads, raining crumbly little pieces again. Something gooey hit Rogue’s cheek.

They all began to yell at the same time.

“Holy crap!” Jamie squealed.

“Gambit! Get down!” Scott yelled.

“He’s lost it!” Kurt smacked his own head, looking awed.

“Gross!” Rogue was occupied with the goo.

“Are those, like, _my muffins_?!” 

Gambit raised the whole pan above his head and yelled as it glowed angrily and hissed, “Take back de abomination!” 

“NO!” They all screamed together as he threw it up in the air. It was with the same unified horror they watched the whole thing explode above them. 

Ash and muffin goo rained down, and the anguished cries that went up could have rivaled the ones given at the destruction of Pompeii.

“It’s in my _fur_!”

“Swamp Rat!”

“Holy crap!”

“GAMBIT!”

“Like, that is _not ok_!”

**Author's Note:**

> “The holy trinity, Cajun holy trinity, or holy trinity of Cajun cooking consists of onions, bell peppers and celery, the base for much of the cooking in the regional cuisines of Louisiana.”  
> Holy trinity (cuisine) - Wikipedia  
> Because Gambit's religion is cooking.


End file.
